“People Do Not Understand How You Feel…”
One of the Hardest Things About Having Anxiety and Panic Attacks, is that the People Around You Simply Do NOT Understand How You Feel.
You tell them how terrifying a panic attack is and they think you are just exaggerating. You explain the anxious thoughts you have and they remark, “Hey I get stressed too”. You tell them that you wake each morning with a sense of dread, and they say “Oh come on, who is a morning person?”.
They simply don’t get it.
The weekend is coming up and your partner wonders why you can’t just go out for dinner with friends and leave your fears behind? What they don’t get is that sometimes you think you will actually die the fear is so intense and that your mind is in such a fog that you won’t be able to enjoy yourself for a minute.
You wish they could understand this – and when they don’t you feel alone and depressed.
I’ve got two things to say about this:
1. YOU ARE OKAY
Yes you have a problem that needs correcting. You wouldn’t be reading this right now if you didn’t. That’s why you surf the net looking for answers. That’s why you constantly worry if this problem is more serious than just anxiety. You worry about the scary bodily sensations and if you will always be like this. You get a jolt of fear at the thought of losing control in front of your friends or co-workers.
I know all this because I have been there. I have had the exact same thoughts and fears as you have had.
And you know what? It’s OK.
It’s OK because all of this is curable. All of the anxiety can be healed and no, you are not going to lose control or go insane and NO a panic attack is not going to kill you. It’s all OK because you are perfectly safe….
2. FORGIVE THEM
Forgive those that belittle your anxiety. They have no idea how terrifying it can feel. Forgive the doctor that dismissed your story and told you to just go home and try deep breathing. Forgive the friend who stopped calling because you no longer could go out. Forgive the boss who placed all that extra stress unnecessarily on you. Forgive them all because they just don’t know how difficult it is without having experienced it for themselves.
3. GIVE THANKS
Stop for a moment and tell your anxiety you are actually happy it is part of your life. That might be the last thing from your mind right now but anxiety will become your ally, not your enemy. Believe it or not, this problem will teach you how to be a BIGGER PERSON!
Anxiety will give you the greatest gift possible, greater self awareness. It may not feel like that now because you are in the eye of the storm but you will come through this and out the other side stronger.
You will WIN in the end.
It reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with someone who had completed the Panic Away program. She said after so many years of anxiety and panic attacks she could finally see the hidden lesson and gift of anxiety. She now had a rock solid sense of confidence that had not been there before. She felt her old self again. She won in the end and you will too.
Let me show you how to win…
Sign up below to my free 7 part mini-series on ‘How to End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety’. One lesson gets emailed each day.
There is no fee and no catch – just real life changing information all these people have used to end their anxiety. You can unsubscribe easily in one click if you want, so give it a go and see how much better you will feel in just 7 days.
To Your Success….
Barry Joe McDonagh
Author of www.PanicAway.com
Maria
Barry, since I took your course I haven’t had a panic attack again. AMEN.
Christine Ross
Barry,I just want to tell you how thankful I am to have such a knowledgeable person help me through this trying time in my life.Your course is amazing,and because of it I am recovering.Thanks again,you’re an amazing person.
Victoria
I have recently divorced after 19 years. I had been crying out for help to my former husband and friends and I got was…”you’ll be alright!” and I kept thinking, “HOW!” One morning I woke up from a terrible nightmare and I was in fight or flight mode…I fled after an even more emotional scene from my husband ( He actually asked me how I could do this to him? Always about hm and his feelings.) after 3 days of no contact, I left my home town, battling attack after attack. My brother told my former husband to give me space, but I guess it hurt more to know that he would listen. I mean, it’s not that I wanted him to chase after me… it’s that I wanted him to finally take me serious that I was in trouble mentally. He saw what condition I was in when I left…I think back now, and I was out of control. How could he not be worried, how could he not just take the chance to make contact with me, to show me that he cared and would help me finally? After 3 months, I contacted him to say I would file for divorce papers, and he told me that he already had them. Now, this isn’t the whole of our story…we shared a long relationship full of some complicated hurtful things, so all was not rosy. We had ups and downs, and I had a husband who needed to grow up. I think he did the best he could. The irony of all this, is that I have so few panic attacks now! I can’t help but wonder. Was it the stress of our relationship that was causing me the attacks? I am in counseling for post traumatic stress disorder now, for childhood sexual abuse and my life has turned around. If you have issues in your life, and you feel yourself slipping away or being consumed by panic…DON”T WAIT FOR ANYONE TO HELP YOU!!! I can not stress this enough! Yes, that first step is scary. But I lost my home, family and quite a few friends, because I waited for someone to hold out they’re hand and say…Vicki, let’s see about getting you help. It’s a wonderful if you have those kinds of friends and family, but most people are uncomfortable hearing about emotional issues, and they really don’t know what to do for you. I place NO blame on anyone in my life at that time. But it still hurts, that I had to lose so much to find the help I needed, on my own. Bless you all and I wish you peace:)
Shawna
Victoria, I feel for you dear! I went through the same thing with my ex-husband who just thought of himself. I was very badly bulimic and he knew it and just didn’t care. Now I know that was me asking for help…and asking for re-assurance that he cared! I am asthmatic and if I had an asthma attack I remember driving myself to emergency every time….and I couldn’t breathe!! I suffered major anxiety attacks where I was almost paralyzed. I couldn’t think and my body would shake. He would tell me to chill out and its all in your head! I went to my Doctor and he prescribed me Xanax. I threw the prescription away and began a process inside myself somehow where I got stronger and a little angry. After 13 years I stopped loving him (gee,wonder why LOL) and left and the anxiety to that degree went away completely. I too have suffered from sexual abuse but mine has been different. I wasn’t handled but my sister and brother were but I was blamed for it growing up and that has affected me in many forms. You see, my sis & bro had a different father and it was my father that abused them. So growing up my sis called me a wierdo and all sorts of names because I was ‘his’ child. She brainwashed me all growing up that sex was BAD and I was bad and I was a kid who didn’t even know what sex was! I could never understand what she meant. As I got older I learned of what my father did and why she hated me and put me though all that growing up. I don’t blame her but it has caused so much damage subconsciously to my adult sexual life and other things. I’ve thought of getting hypnosis therapy because it goes so deep but I haven’t yet. I guess I have blocked so much of it out that now I can’t have the sexual life that most normal women have and I am overly protective to the point of hurting men’s feelings when they show love to a child. With sex I’m just not really ‘there’. I say no, no instead of yes, yes type of thing. Anyways I read your post and wanted you to know that I ‘heard’ you and am with you. ;>
Melanie harris
Could u tell me how to subscribe to your free seven part series on ending anxiety and panic please. Thanks
wilma
Your newsletters are a great help, l really appreciate them. Please keep them coming! Thanks so much.
Lucille
I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for 26 years. Here also, no one understand. They compare it to a terrific headache they had the other day. Fortunately, I started a Chronic Pain Group which meets every two weeks. One week we have a speaker who gives us some feedback and the other week we have discussion and keep it positive.
Many of your newsletters have given me more ideas. Please keep them coming.
Gratefully,
Lucille
Lauren
Dear Barry,
Your free excerpts have helped me immensely. A few months ago, I was in a stressful spot and only your words and advice seemed to help. I was out of the woods for quite a spell and all of a sudden this morning had a recurrence although I was much more in control this time. I’m feeling better now .
I just looked at my mail and lo and behold, I found, after a few months, another message from you in my inbox! Mental telepathy, for sure. Thanks so much for being here for me…for all of us.
wilma
Your newsletters are a great help, please keep them coming. Thanks so much!!!
Shane
These are such comforting words for me, as when you suffer from Panic Attacks and Agoraphobia, it can seem like a very lonely world. Indeed, I have never met anyone else who suffers from these horrible ailments. I just wish that I wasn’t trapped indoors so much, but I have some exercise equipment in my house so that I can at least stay reasonably fit.
Fernando
Joe you emails and letter always shows at the right time, after one year i had a set back last week i almost cancel my business trip last monday but i didn’t i have you book and read it again and was fantactic , i realize that went you have much time without panic attacts you forgot how deal with them so after this set back i am preparing a check list of one move technique which i’ll have in my wallett with the key points of the One move technique Observe , Embrace,Demand more and trust so went i am traveling you can always have this information handy , went i got this ready i’ll share with you to see if you want to add something , i’ll call the Travel kit jejeje, , those panic attacts are not a treat to our body so they keep coming let’s have fun together jejejeje and one more thing i won’t say NO to go any event myself or with my family again as long God keep giving me health in my life
Saludos
Fernando
kevin o connell
Thank you for all your work on behalf of anxiety sufferers. I bought your course two years ago in the middle of a very difficult time and am still not sure I would have got through without it. I keep it very accessible still.In particular the daily emails are a great idea because they will probably be the ONLY encouragement that anxiety sufferers are getting. To wake up to an email that is addressing your problem is a big deal. I am not ‘cured’ of anxiety but your course has told me how to regard it in a new light. It’s unpleasant for sure. But it is not in control of me, and I am not mad. That alone is good to know.
Please keep up the good work. Many people are counting on it.
marty
just experiencing a setback after several blissfully calm weeks- what a bummer. trying hard with your strategies. Just have to keep believing I’m OK.
thank you.
M
Mike Bond
Many thanks indeed for your E-mail, Barry. How true that all rings! Wild horses couldn’t force me out of the house for a long time, but now I’m delighted to say I’m panic-free, which is why I have a website devoted to helping others and am one of your affiliates.
Believe me, I value all you write, so please keep up the good work,
Every good wish,
Mike
suzy
thank you for your emails,i only just started reading them as i was too scared to read anything with the word panic or anxiety in it,but your words are soothing and helpful,and true,so thank you for taking an interest enough to write to me,it is helping me a great deal,and yes your right my partner doesn’t understand and is quite selfish,and quite frankly i am sick of him being unsupportive,it’s nice to know there are lots of other people out there going through the same thing as me,it is very hard to suffer this kind of thing and it feels like i will never get better from it,but your words have given me hope,so thank you.
Whitney
Mr. McDonagh,
I want to thank you so much for your mini series. I have been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for the last 5 years but this past year as been the worst. My husband has been working out of town for the last 3 years and I work at home for a local hospital doing transcription. I am by myself way too much and going out causes great anxiety for me. I also have the added problem of emetophobia, the fear of vomiting. I think this is my main problem. If I wasn’t afraid of vomiting, I feel I wouldn’t have so much anxiety. I am always afraid of getting sick in a store or in the car. So when I get anxious, I feel nauseous and get a gagging feeling in my throat. I keep telling myself that I haven’t thrown up in 21 years so the odds are pretty slim of me actually throwing up when I get anxious. I really would like to start my family and have children but I am afraid of getting morning sickness and taking care of my kids when they get sick. Do you have any advice for overcoming this fear? I really want to purchase your program and get rid of these problems so I can start living my life again. I feel so alone sometimes and like I’m broken and there is something wrong with me. I just want to be normal again. Thank you so much for your time and all that you do for people like me. I know God has an awesome plan for me and with your program, I am hopeful to find out what that is. God bless you!!!
Doug
Dear Whitney,
I know what you are experiencing. I was led to tell you that you already have recognized part of your problem, BEING ALONE TOO MUCH. You MUST get the fire in you to help others in need, and you usually don’t have to look very far to find people in need these days. Search out people in your surrounding neighborhood and see if you can assist in some way to help an elderly person do daily tasks, or even to just visit and sit with them for awhile and have a cup of tea, (decaf a must)…baking cookies and giving them to people in nursing homes, or making gift fruit baskets. The choices to uplift another person’s day are endless. You know what your talents are and you should be utilizing them my dear!
God gave you special talents that He doesn not want you to hide under a bushel, but He wants you to go out and show the world what you have got and just how good at it you are!
Yes, God does have a special plan for you, and it is by faith, and taking that first step to change things is when you will be on the path to make the changes you want to change within your life. He said He will never leave you, and even when you feel the anxiety symptoms come so strong that you feel like you are going to throw up, stand strong and say, NO, I WILL NOT MOVE FROM THIS PLACE. I WILL LEAVE HERE AT MY OWN DISCRETION, AND FEAR HAS TO TAKE A BACK SEAT.
Maybe chewing gum or keeping mints with you to pop in your mouth will give you a boost when you taste the flavors in your mouth, which will take your mind off of throwing up. I wish you the best and I know you can make it!
nicole
thank you,i welcome your emails.
Victoria
Just wanted to add that I too was helped by this program, which I found when I had my first panic episode early this year. The program helped tremendously. After much research, I found something else that has made all the difference in the world: magnesium supplementation. High stress over a long period leads to the ‘using up’ of magnesium, which the adrenal glands (and heart and a zillion bodily functions) need to function optimally. Once the adrenals are out of whack, they no longer control production of cortisol in the same way and often it will spike all over the place at inappropriate times. I was getting my panic attacks at around the same time every evening. Once I discovered that magnesium could help, I began taking it at the lowest dosage. And I haven’t had a panic attack since. I’m sure not all panic attacks are related to magnesium deficiency, but it seems like a cheap and safe alternative to try. Of course, I’m not a clinician, so can’t recommend anything, but this worked for me.
Just wanted to share that in case it helps anyone.
Shaz
Hi Barry, you won’t believe it i am undergoing a very stressful and panicky situation right now, and your sudden email appeared on my iphone. You have been God’s angel to me today. THank you so much, and may God shower you with much much blessings for your compassion and kindness. Understanding / empathy may be the biggest comfort or safety one can offer to a person 🙂 especially one who has an anxiety disorder 🙂
Sylvia Fales
Dear Barry,
I purchased your first Panic Away program. You have been a great inspiration for me and I am better but not cured. I now have generalized anxiety. I read all the information you send me and I hope in the near future I will be normal again. I have other issues that I am dealing with but I hope they will go away as well. Thank You for sharing yourself with us all.
Sincerely,
Sylvia Fales
pam
Barry..I have thought of you many, many times these past weeks. I am so grateful for the new found relationship with the Lord that came about through my stress & anxiety that started about this time last year. The Lord brought me to YOU Barry, and the healing began. Just like your letter states, I am a much stronger and better person for going through the anxiety issues and coming out on the other end, free of the past issues. Thank you a million times over for your program!!! What a blessing! To all those suffering……practice Barry’s program, surround yourself with loved ones, and this too shall pass. BUT, it takes time…..it wont happen overnight, next week, or months from now…..be patient, it will pass.
God Bless all of you!
Rebecca B. Valiente
Dear Mr. Barry,
Honestly speaking you’re such an angel and God given gifts for me, to everyone, to everybody
especially those who are unfortunately suffering from anxiety or tremendous fears..! The first time
I read your letters I was really touched and I made it a point to myself I will survive this fears,the
same way you did… Because of your letters to me and with the help of our Lord God I triumphantly
battled my fears, Thank you so much for everything!!! You’re an angel from God and communicating
with you and reading your friendly advices and be your friend will be an awesome things to do… Will
love to wait for your letters more, Thank you so much and God bless.. see you in facebook soon!
Rebecca
Vivian
All, panic & anxiety attacks are not the way you have described them in your email to me.
I have found that the few people that I have let know about my panic & anxiety attacks have been very understanding about it as they know others close to them that have them worse than I do and are house bound by them.
I do not tell people about my panic & anxiety attacks and I do not let it show when I am around others. Usually the panic and anxiety attacks wake me in the middle of the night. It is like the blood is draining out of your body and your heart just races. Very frightening as I thought I was having a heart attack the first time I had a panic & anxiety attck.
Wendy
Most people don’t understand how you feel in your head and then add the physical feelings and it is very scary. So happy to get your email with the testimonials from others. I look forward to receiving your emails. I would love to purchase the program, but at this time I am a single mother not working as my daughter requires oxygen 24/7. I want to be the best that I can for her. Thank you for thinking of me.
Ella
I just wanted to say that I cannot believe that stumbling across something on the internet like this would work so well. I haven’t really told anyone about my panic attacks, out of embarrassment and have been having them whilst talking to people for years. I’ve become pretty good at hiding them, and thought that this was the solution. I even went to see someone about them and they just offered ‘coping solution’, rather than actually dealing with the root cause. After reading your book I genuinely feel that the previously terrifying concept of trying to deal with them is do-able.
I’m getting married next year and have been DREADING the ceremony because I was absolutely certain that I’d have a massive panic attack during it. Now I know that if I do I can cope!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
angele
thank you for the emails, my gosh, u r RIGHT on the money with everything! Its nuts! I always said, no one can help me heal but someone whos been there and conquered it themselves, and its true, you have been through it and conquered it yourself, and you are the ONLY one who has been able to help me! Thank you so much! you saved my life..Its still a struggle, but not half as bad:)
Richard "Buddy" Takasch
Hi Barry, Yes people look at you like you are from Jupiter when you tell them about Panic Disorder. I told someone I have Agoraphobia, he did not even know what it was. God Bless, Buddy
Caroyn Snuggs
Dear Barry, thank you so much for your personal comments and encouragement. Carolyn Snuggs
Jr
Barry Sir,
Thank you so so much for this mail you sent. Its so encouraging and for the first time ever after all this has started happening , i have felt like i am not alone. First time ever i have felt that somebody somewhere understands my problem and there are many who have gone through the same. I will definitely take your advice and face the problem with a forgiving and a grateful heart.
God Bless You Sir,
thank you again.
azlina
hi barry somehow what u have wrote to me makes me feel much better and gain my confidence bit by bit. i felt that whenever i read ur article i am back on track. thanks alot for sharing with me..
Louise
I was pretty cynical about this sort of thing but have to admit that just these few free newsletter emails I have had have given me more confidence and help than £600 worth of counselling! I have also been on lowest dose meds and whether they are placebo or not have really helped so I suggest it’s worth giving them a go. The fuuny thing is when the anxiety starts to go away it’s amazing how quickly you forget what a big part of your life it was. It’s only when you relapse now and again that it’s reminds you. Thanks Barry!
Raynah
Thank you very much for writing to me Barry. Your advise has been an inspiration to me. do not forget me.
Love & prayers,
Raynah
emma
Thank you for your emails and newsletters they have helped me alot. Thank You
Jos
Thank you. When I read the part about forgiveness, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Why did I never think to just forgive all those around me that don’t understand me.
Berlene Roe
Barry, I was glad to read about your program and your own success story. It helps knowing the one giving advice has been through this. It’s true alot of people don’t understand,including my husband. I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since the age of 21. I’m now 54. That’s a long time!!!! I have gotten a little better thanks to Paxil and Buspar, but not cured. There are still things I can’t do because of the fear of having an attack. I’m looking forward to your free information. Thank you so much!!!! Berlene Roe
Lorna
Hi Barry,
Thankyou Barry for your wonderful words. Fortunately I am blessed with people who understand the harrible feelings I go through, and if they do not understand what I am feeling, they at least understand that it is important. I have become much more self aware since I first joined your community and I am now able to control my anxieties more and not let them overwhelm me. I still get panic attacks now and then but instead of it controlling me I control it!
All the best
Lorrie Butcher
You don’t know how perfectly timed this new installment was. Thank you for all your guidance, advice and help. I look forward to each and every newsletter…..
alison
Thank you for your latest email. It always makes me feel so much more positive when I receive them and wonderful to know that I am not alone. I have been so much better since I received your course but am still not ‘cured’ yet. I still struggle when I’m asked to do anything out of what I consider to be my usual routine, even going for a cup of coffee with friends, but I’m not giving up and try to find the courage to just go and do it.
Please keep the emails coming and thank you loads for what you have done for me so far.
Anna
Hi
I am writing this because 1 year ago today I was suffering from extreme anxiety attacks. (I was in the process of tapering off of paxil, an anti depressant). Today, I am sooo much better! I have not tried your program Barry, but have been referring to your writings when I feel I need reassurance about my anxiety. I just want others who have this problem to know that there is hope and everything can get ALOT better and life WILL seem normal again! I made some lifestyle changes that have helped tremendously (mainly meditation and not being so hard on myself) I do admit that I went back up to regular dosage of paxil, but I really think that is just part of the solution. I feel like sometimes peoples bodies get stuck in anxiety mode and once you can physiologically and mentally get away from that mode, things will seem ALOT better. Get PLENTY of rest! Anyway, thank god for people like you Barry who help people who are suffering sooo much!
Kindly,
Anna
Katharine Lancy
Things are much better now but the anxiety & some depression persist.
I hope all your readers are aware that many drugs CAUSE panic attacks
and removal of the drugs lessens the problem considerably. That was true
for me and I’ve searched online and found others making the same comments.
Be careful with new medicine.
I have your program and like others I’m grateful for your help. Thanks,
vishal
Barry, thanx a lot for such good advice, god. Bless.u,
Its a very auspicious day as its our festival of lights,diwali, and u sure did lighten up my day.
Andrea Caswell
I read your book about a year ago when my panic attacks were very bad. I was getting married and working two jobs and with all the planning the attacks were numerous times each day. I needed help and fast. After reading the book and following the steps the attacks just suddenly stopped. I have not had one attack in over a year. I recently had a c-section and just gave birth to a baby boy. Before the surgery I re-read your book to remind myself of the steps and methods. I did wonderful!!! My mother was in shock as I went in and out of surgery without one attack. My life is busy and hectic but the panic attacks seem to be an issue of my past, I sit here crying as I can not thank you enough for helping me and my family!!
nici
i just wanted to say it is amazing how everything you say is so real!!!! the only thing i have a hard time is blaming myself somethimes more than others, because i know it is my problem and not anything anyone could ever understand… i just want you to know,, i was at my lowest point ever a little over a month ago, and i honestly wanted to die!!! the idea alone of having children scares me because i feel that i could never control what would happen if i were put into a situation where i couldn’t analyze what to do before hand…. i started your program, honestly not expecting much, but it is amazing how much i have let go….. i am able to work now without being scared all of the time!!! i can actually go to big stores and get further away from exits than i always was able to… sometimes its a little harder, but i always over come it…. i am just so so so thankful for how much your program actually worked, and just am in disbelief that it actually worked…. i was very skeptical, but everything was so incredible worth it… and i just want to tell you how thankful i am, i can honestly say you have helped bring life back to me!!!
Zeynep
I hate that I can not leave my house anymore! I go to class and come straight home. The three days that I actually leave my house to go to class, is so hard! I have been dealing with anxiety for about 6 months, and it is driving me up the wall. I just want to feel “normal” again. I lost so many friends, and my family just does not understand what I am going through, which makes dealing with my anxiety even more hard. Since I have signed up for your newsletter, I made some progress! Hopefully, I will be back to “normal” in no time! Thank you so much for your help!
carol cresser
Thankyou for writing to me again Barry i appreciate every word you write and although it all makes sense i’,m trying my very hardest to get it into my head. Everything you say about others flippent comments is true i’ve gone through them all. But thankfully i am starting to feel much more positive and i will beat this thanks to you and your kind words of encouragement. It was a real uplift to receive them today as it hasn’t been a particuarly a good one. Thankyou so much again & GodBless you for all you do xx
Me
Hey !! Barry! thanks for your e-mail, you’re the best!
PS: I want a man like you in my life, where can I find him? 😀
pam
Katharine Lancy…so glad you mentioned the issue with ‘drugs’. It is a fact! And using drugs does NOT get to the real problem, only treats the symptoms for a while until it has the opposite effect. I know, I have tried drugs initially, but I knew in my mind that was not the way to get CURED. Barry’s program is the answer. Thanks!
Phillip
Thanks for what you do and have done. I read all the emails and all are helpful. I am doing so much better right now but have those days when the anxiety comes back and I wonder why. I am considering CTB also.
Thomas McGuire
I bought the panic away program and I’m glad I did – it was simple to read and easy to understand – and it helped me feel a better about what I’m going through — I’m still dealing with my anxiety and panic attacks – and still using medication at this time — but I’m combining the two to try and beat this — as one of my favorite singer says “dont say why me. why me why not me” — this is my thing and I have to win — thanks Barry
Lucy Lewis
Barry thank you very much for your email everything in it is how you said no one can understand unless the have had a panic attack. I have felt very alone what i want to say i have had a number of changes in my life in the last year and have had panic attacks and depression for coming up four years but in the last few months i can feel myself getting stronger and feeling better. I don’t think it will ever fully go away and that can be hard but not a bad thing as i feel i have learned something about myself and about other people. I just hope this is the turn i have been waiting for and i am on the road to better things please do keep in touch as there can never be
enough information that can help.
Many Thanks
Lucy
alan warner
HI THERE THANK YOU FOR OFFERING ME THE PANIC AWAY MINI SERIES .IMsure it will be of help to me.I have tried valium to relive attack it lasts for a period then somtimes it comes back