“People Do Not Understand How You Feel…”
One of the Hardest Things About Having Anxiety and Panic Attacks, is that the People Around You Simply Do NOT Understand How You Feel.
You tell them how terrifying a panic attack is and they think you are just exaggerating. You explain the anxious thoughts you have and they remark, “Hey I get stressed too”. You tell them that you wake each morning with a sense of dread, and they say “Oh come on, who is a morning person?”.
They simply don’t get it.
The weekend is coming up and your partner wonders why you can’t just go out for dinner with friends and leave your fears behind? What they don’t get is that sometimes you think you will actually die the fear is so intense and that your mind is in such a fog that you won’t be able to enjoy yourself for a minute.
You wish they could understand this – and when they don’t you feel alone and depressed.
I’ve got two things to say about this:
1. YOU ARE OKAY
Yes you have a problem that needs correcting. You wouldn’t be reading this right now if you didn’t. That’s why you surf the net looking for answers. That’s why you constantly worry if this problem is more serious than just anxiety. You worry about the scary bodily sensations and if you will always be like this. You get a jolt of fear at the thought of losing control in front of your friends or co-workers.
I know all this because I have been there. I have had the exact same thoughts and fears as you have had.
And you know what? It’s OK.
It’s OK because all of this is curable. All of the anxiety can be healed and no, you are not going to lose control or go insane and NO a panic attack is not going to kill you. It’s all OK because you are perfectly safe….
2. FORGIVE THEM
Forgive those that belittle your anxiety. They have no idea how terrifying it can feel. Forgive the doctor that dismissed your story and told you to just go home and try deep breathing. Forgive the friend who stopped calling because you no longer could go out. Forgive the boss who placed all that extra stress unnecessarily on you. Forgive them all because they just don’t know how difficult it is without having experienced it for themselves.
3. GIVE THANKS
Stop for a moment and tell your anxiety you are actually happy it is part of your life. That might be the last thing from your mind right now but anxiety will become your ally, not your enemy. Believe it or not, this problem will teach you how to be a BIGGER PERSON!
Anxiety will give you the greatest gift possible, greater self awareness. It may not feel like that now because you are in the eye of the storm but you will come through this and out the other side stronger.
You will WIN in the end.
It reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with someone who had completed the Panic Away program. She said after so many years of anxiety and panic attacks she could finally see the hidden lesson and gift of anxiety. She now had a rock solid sense of confidence that had not been there before. She felt her old self again. She won in the end and you will too.
Let me show you how to win…
Sign up below to my free 7 part mini-series on ‘How to End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety’. One lesson gets emailed each day.
There is no fee and no catch – just real life changing information all these people have used to end their anxiety. You can unsubscribe easily in one click if you want, so give it a go and see how much better you will feel in just 7 days.
To Your Success….
Barry Joe McDonagh
Author of www.PanicAway.com
Rich
A nice surprise reading your mail to me Barry, thanks for that, have been through the mill for 18 months now, feeling like am coming out of it slowly 🙂
Lynne Healy
Thankyou for your email really does help me to know other people suffer from this as well. Sometimes I think I am the only one – have good and bad day. You really have to help yourself though and get on with life to be fair to your family and friends.
Thanks once again
Lynne
John Bohannon
Thank you Barry for keeping in touch. I am doing much better now thanks to you.
Tom Sheppard
Barry , this program Absolutely Works ! It is not for the faint of heart though. When I first used your method I was on the floor having trouble breathing and blurring vision and pretty much told my wife I loved her because I thought I was truly about to die. I didnt die. For many months I gagged every morning because of the awful fear within me. I hated the general anxiety and constant ” checking in” .Finally I accepted it , got used to it ,and quit caring about whether something was wrong with me. I did have pills as a back up in the beginning but there is a half full bottle that I plan on never using again. I probably read your book 8 times while learning to apply your method and your emails truly helped too. Thanks so very much !!!
sophia
Thankyou so much for the newsletters, i read everyone of them, im so glad someone gets it! and i feel like im not alone in this. Everyday is a battle with my fear and just leaving the house is a nightmare, but i gaining some understanding and thats more than i got from any doctor. thanks again
jim
i need help.. i am victom of heart palpitations and chest tightness..can any body help???
Summer
i just want to say thank u!!!! it has been so much help every thing u have sent me. i did not want to take pills, and knew it was my own thoughts that can get out of hand. i have learned to deal with them. when one starts happing all i do is say to my self “u are ok, u have gone threw worse in your life and gotten threw it, your ok” and i haven’t had a full blown one in over 2 months:) thank u sooo much!!!!!
Wendy
Thank you for the email.
I must say that although it is great to see all of these positive people on here doing better, I, at this time am feeling very helpless and depressed. I have a bridge phobia as well as elevators, especially if there is other people in them.
I am a confident, outgoing, happy person with my friends, family and co-workers. That is, until I am faced with my fears. These fears are affecting my 3 young children’s lives as well. When I left my husband that is when the fears came back. (I had pretty much conquered my bridge fear up until then). That was in 2001.
Half a year ago my mom was put in a home as she had been struck with Alzheimers. (horrible disease)!
Now I am guilt-ridden because I cannot go see her because her home is over a bridge.
I self-medicated myself a few times to get over the bridge and had to drink more to get back home over the bridge. How pathetic is that?
I can’t take my kids to certain sports groups that they want to be in (the places are over bridges) and there are stores, beaches, vacations that I would love to take them to but I ‘just can’t’! I hope this site helps…
Ali
This isn’t just great advice. It’s soothing. Thanks so much.
eman
thank you very much i really cant bileive that there is a person can understand me you describe exactly what im feeling , and what im thinking every moment i cant tell you about my feeling when i read your email you are right when you say no one understand you that was my problem no mother ,father sister husband friend nooooo body i really feel alone but now nooo i get back my confidence im haaaaappy how kind are you thanks for god and sure sure i would like to be your friend on facebook my dear you really help me from die to the life agian i want to cryyy please take care how we need some one to be beside us in our life i cant forget you i will never forget you you are the person who help me after a very long hard time and suffering
theresa
thanks and blessings to you. i am so in need of help that your email was an answer to a very desperate prayer. it feels as though my world is crumbling and nobody can understand what has happened to me, including myself. may you be blessed a million times over for you hearts willingness to reach out to those who don’t know how to ask for help or who to ask for that matter.
elizabeth
dear BARRY. thank you for writing its good to know someone understands how i feel and that you take the time to write i really apreciate it . i am trying to deal with my fears and problems day by day . and i ask GOD to give me the strength to live a normal life thanks a million for everything may GOD bless and keep you always LOVE ELIZABETH….
Bhanmattee
Dear Barry..I must say you are a God’s send, and many thanks to you for this program and very good advice ,your emails ,and other people comments to read .I thought i was the only person in this world who has Anxiety and Panic Attacks. you have help me remove that FEAR considerably. May God’s richest blessing always be with you and your family Happy Divali greeting ,you did lighten up my life and others so keep up the good work .God love you ………byeeeeeeeee
krissy
I am very grateful for ur program that you graciously gave me. I’m still struggling with my bad thoughts however. Ur program has givin me some hope with the attacks themselves but like I mentioned my thoughts still get the best of me some times. Thank you again for ur program & the testimonials
Johnny fasulo
Hi Barry I would like to know what the one move tech is.
Fe D Laconsay
dear barry,
thank you so much for your inspiring words of encouragement. i helped brighten my day as i am just experiencing symptoms of panic attacks. my friends say they are just in the mind because they have
not experienced how it is to have attacks. sometime i feel alone when no one understands me. it’s good that your letter helped boost my morale that i will be able to overcome it and i am not alone.
keep your emails coming. God bless.
fe
Heidi
Barry, very happy to hear from you again. I thought you forgot me. Read your email and is the same thing I tried to deal with people and they do not understand about panic attacks, to the point that now I do not care what people think or not understand about panic attacks. I want to conquer and I know you can help me.
My biggest problem with this panic attacks is being alone and doing things on my own.
ALONE I do not do anything, not even drive the car!!!!! I did conquer and accomplished to sleep at night and staying at my house ALONE!!!!!
First of all I want to tell you that I am in the USA 11 years and here I found out what I had and was Panic Attacks…wow. what a relive….
I come from South America, Bolivia o.k so forgive my misspelling ok
My regards and please help me overcome and face it.
Sincerely Heidi
Chantal
It’s amazing to me that out of all the days for me to come across this email it was today. I was doing ‘ok’ with trying to stay positive and control my anxiety/panic attacks. I very recently started a new job and yesterday I was at work and I felt dizzy and an anxiety attack was coming on. I had not told anyone about my health problem at my new job. Then I woke up this morning and I was alread in full panic attack. It was terrifying! I ended up telling my new boss and we are going to speak about it soon. I don’t know what will happen…! The email I received from you today was EXACTLY how I feel! So true!!! I have a good friend of mine that also has been dealing but she has hers more undercontrol. Myself…no to much! I am ok if I am at home or running errands. However once it comes to me working….OMG! The fear, thought of dying (I am more afraid of dying in my sleep so then I am afraid to go to sleep-other than that it’s the feeling of having a heart attack), people finding out, thinking I am crazy, losing control, feling sick…I could go on and on. No one really understands completely. My family and husband have been trying to be supportive and understanding as best as they can be. But no one really understands. I do feel alone. I am exhausted because of all of this. I feel like I will never be myself again. Like I will never see my dreams and goals come true because I will forever be fighting this. It’s absolutely heartbreaking for me! I take my medicine (and try not to rely on pills too much since I would love to have kids in the future – IF I can get this under control) and I do my breathing. I try to think happy thoughts, change my thoughts. Sometimes I just get so mad and angry. Why me?! I have been having my attacks since June 2007 and they started when I was at work at my previous job. I was doing ok for about a year, still struggling but just making it through…then I relapsed BAD a year later. Then my misery REALLY began. Oh my story just goes on and on….and is STILL going. I need HELP terribly. I don’t want to only rely on pills though. I want and need the strength to get through and past all of this for good.
Feeling lost, scared, misunderstood, worried, confused, exhausted, angry, sad, ETC…..!!!!!
Looking forward to hearing from you. What I have written here is only a very small piece of what I am going through but it’s a start to explaining and hopefully hoping, looking and searching for HELP and understanding…for compassion.
I must thank you though for your words in your email….saying that It’s OK and to Forgive and so on….it is reassuring, a bit comforting, brought tears to my eyes and a small bit of hope to my heart. Even if just for a quick moment.
Fighting to win this battle….and to do the right thing so that my future can and hopefully will be brighter seeing dreams and goals come true over time. It honestly almost seems hopeless though… with where I am at now and what I am dealing with.
Thank you! Keep in touch with me please. Looking forward to hearing from you again and getting the help I desperately need and want!
Glen from Melbourne AusT
Thanks friend.
Cyra
Indeed a great help, first I praise God for having this site secondly to your anxiety which lead to a great book like this and to my anxiety which lead to forgiveness and being thankful with everything, some of your advice are biblical and I believe God doesnt want us to be anxious but to be free. As Jesus said in John 10:10 The enemy came to steal, kill and destroy but He came so we might have life and have it to the fullest. We people with anxiety can be free indeed as Jesus set us free. God bless you and may you help more people as well.
mike gerstner
hey buddie,just wanna say thank you for ur daily encouragement emails! they r very helpful.
Tina Ståhl
Thank you so much for your concern Barry.. And your information is most valuable, although I haven’t had any panic attacks in a very long time now, which I must say is no coincidence.. but a result of an ongoing process and hard work with myself for years really. I’d still like to receive ur news Barry, if I may, and I wish you success in your most helpful and unvaluable work..
Again lots of thanks Barry..
All the best… Tina
sally
God bless you Barry for your help and comforting words. I am greatful for you and what you are doing for everyone who needs this help.
Rick Sluss
Hi Barry: Thanks for getting back to me about the panic attacks. I look forward to learning more about it and how I can deal with them more effectively. Bye for now. Rick
Marianne
Hi Barry,
I am not usually on the computer at this time of the day, but it was meant for me to read your email I so deeply needed to read and be reassured, that I am okay. With today’s society and the added pressure of balancing work, and personal family life, dealing with anxiety is a extra burden. I have been using your one technique for last months and I can’t bless you enough, how much more relaxed I am. But I have alot of stress in my life and I feel the horrific anxiety levels raising again and you are right, I will be okay and I won’t lose it, but no one around me, understands, because they haven’t experienced my level of anxiety which has lingered around me for many years. It’s my faith that carries me through each day and it’s brought me to you, thank you for your advice, words of encouragment and making me feel ‘normal’ as no Doctor here cares I am so much looking forward to your next newsletter.
God bless,
Marianne
ramon
Barry,
Thank you so much for staying in touch with many people…..and for free!!
This is something I need to appreciate!
Regards and Godbless!!
Ramon
miguel matos
DEAR FRIENDS, I GIVE YOU MY THANKS FOR THESE REFLEXIONS SO USEFUL AND WISE YOU WROTE ABOUT AXIETY. PLEASE, SEND ME EVERYTHING YOU WRITE ABOUT THIS. GOD BLESS YOU. YOU MAY PUBLISH EVERYTHING I TELL HERE.
zahra
thanks joe, I read your email ,thanks alot ,that was so helpfull for me,love you moaaaaahhhh :*
ayesha
thanx a lot. this is exactly what happens with me. most of the people don’t understand. i so happy that this problem will not lead me to another other problem. i have started taking xet 5mg and the doc has told me to take it for 3 years and i will be cured. i just pray to God that this happens. i want to see the world but because i have IBS along with anxiety, i have become home bound. that really hurts. i hope things will improve soon. thanx a lot once again.
David
hi yes the emails have been great, I’ ve found them very useful from day to day when my anxiety levels have some been bothersome, along with personal help from family and friends i no longer feel anxiety, thanks for your help barry, i feel a whole lot better
sangita
thanx for your personal mail.it has indeed given me some relief.i know longer dread any sickness or a disease which i thought it to be perhaps. thanx for encouraging
Sajina
Thanku barry.A feel that some one is there to take care.please do send mails.it gvs a lot f relief.
sandra
I have saved all the hints on a file, so when i am going thru an attack i can click on & calm down with the hints to guide me along into calm & easier breathing plus it will take my mind off of myself while concentrating on the saved texts…………but since saving many messages i have not needed to go to them, as i have not had an attack! only minor breathing tickles which dont go crazy- so maybe my subconscious has read all the hints and decided it can cope without the full blown event taking over controll…so far so good……..
nadege
thanx Barry for that inspiring message. it is true that some people don’t understand but i was luck that my closest frends were able to understand me especially one frend that im living with right now was very supportive. im glad that i don’t have panick attacks anymore and i dont worry about the bodily sensations anymore but i still worry about things in life, i can spend whole day worrying about one thing and i would like to change that, i think i still have anxiety and would like you to help me again. Thank you very much.
Shah
I want to say only one thing. This website + book has changed my life. any one who suffer from panic attack just read the book panic away or stay connect with this wesite…
Jazakallah…
anna lopez
Thank you very much for writing to me Barry. Its been very helpful…hope to hear from you again soon….Godbless you and more power to you!!!
zizo
Thanx a lot for ur supports i feel you are the only one who understand my situation and fears
nd hope that i’ll get well soon specially that i’m suffering since long time
Graven
Dear Berry,,, i hve been going 4 a heart treatment for a years n since the beginning of dis year i was told dat its aNxiety n started treatment again with all diffrent stuff on medicines but couldnt improve much,,, Frankly,, after a few days of subscribing ur free programe i feel much more alive n earning baCK ALOT of my confidence,,, n thanks 4 writng,,, God bless You,,,n thank you n ur team.
Renee
Thank you so much, I will look forward to reading your News letters.
I wanted to tell you that your program has helped me more then anything elese Ive tryed.
I went years with panic attacks. And now I just welcome the panic and tell it to come and get me and It stops it in its tracks. Ive had panic attacks for over thirty years now and nothing has worked.
So I want to Thank you for giving me my life back. Now words can tell you how greatfull I am .
I still have anxity but it never mounts in to a panic anymore. Anyone reading this you need to tell your panic or symptons to come on and just do what it wants and get it over with. Get mad at it. you might have to say it aging and aging but just say it and beleive it cause it works. I always say to it has anyone ever died from it? NO NO NO Not ever. I should know cause Im still here after thirty years. Anyway God bless all of you and mostly Barry I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Renee Brown
pulane
i thank you for the response, after so long, i am happy to read from you.
i want to tell you i great i am doing at the moment. i have a strong support system at the moment and its the best thing ever. looking back, i do realise how close i almost came to breaking down, and right now i am so grateful i am ok. i am thankful to God, to you for this awesome site, to other survivors and their stories and comments.
God Bless us All.
Sherine
Dear Barry
Thanks for your personal mail. I have enjoyed reading all your mails in the past. My anxiety started last Jan and its was really bad bodily sensations. I am separated from my husband and my children are married and away. I do feel very lonely and wonder who will be there for me as I am getting older. I know my girls will be there but they are very busy and i don’t really see them much.. I am on a tablet called paroxetine now that has helped a lot and I am much better. I still feel a bit nervous a times . I would like to give up the tablet sooner rather than later. My finances are not great and I have to be careful.
Many thanks
Sherine
Jeanine
Thank u so much for the info!!! It really did help, i ws desperate for help and thought I would just try my luck and I was pleasantly suprised!!! So thank you very much!! Please dont stop helping people!!!!
You are truely an inspiration!!!
mani
i received your email at a crucial time, i was burning from humiliation as a result of an incident a few hours earlier. i am a loner in its full sense i have no friends and hardly go out of my house i have retired from govt.service.since then my life is simply drifting.i am having negative thoughts all day and i feel that negative energy flowing from me.the problem with me is that nobody takes me seriously i feel humiliated where ever i go.i know that it is not intentional but that is the way it goes.what shall i do?
dan owinyo
Thanks Barry, It gives a relief just to note that you do understand the case of those who suffer angiety. It gives comfort and courage just to note that even though people do not understand the pain of anxiety, as you do say, there is light at the end of the turnell and for sure i now believe we are gaining strength as compared to previous attacks. We do forgive and we give many thanks, for after going through the painfull attacks, being excluded by almost all, we do understand much more about anxiety and its side effect and for reality we do have words of comfort and a story to tell to uplift the health and well being of many in the society. In other words for those of us who have gone through the pain of anxiety at the end of it all do posses the gift of healing the broken hearts and comforting the lonely and all those who are in one way or another are unfortunate in the society.
many thanks and may God bless you.
judy
thank you Bary,your messages are wonderful.continue sending to me they are very helpful.
Sue Douglas
Thanks for your email….I am having a hard time with anxiety, its ruining my life, I have so many thoughts going through my head, and feel Im not contributing to any joy for my family and just letting them down, most of the people writing on this site say it helps them, am I not trying enough, Im so sad as I have a good family, and I know I worry them. I dont sound positive do I. I cant write any more as I feel exhausted.
Thank you for your email I appreciate what you are doing
Jenna
Thankyou, your newsletters always seem to come at an appropriate time to help the person I am supporting through their anxiety.
Alan
Hi ‘
I came across your website purely by accident and I am glad I did it has been a difficult time for me I have had anxiety attacks on and off for years they have spoilt my normal ok life on many occasions,and it can be so very difficult to shake them sometimes days(not good) sometimes things seem great then something happens and the fight starts up in my head. One thing seems to lead to another and I am a normally rationall person,I have started to take on some of those answers to it all and it has made some differance allready.OurCity has recently suffered a 7.1 mag. earthquake and so far over 3000 aftershocks, some mag 5 thank god no one died in a population of 600,000. so can you help me, the fear and anxiety so real and these regular jolts are so real the fear is real and a so is the ground shaking under you, they will diminish with time I know but the anxiety is a problem. how to deal with that eludes me. thanks Alan.
Lallitha
I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your advise is inspirational and comforting. I have learnt so much from your advise. I even printed out a few copies of how to cope and kept it in my dresser. Im so shocked at how many people feel just like me. I am grateful for your assistance.
Dr Bedar
thank you so much for your help. i really find it helpful ad i would like to keep hearing from you. you have been very knowledgeable and inspiring. God bless you.