“People Do Not Understand How You Feel…”
One of the Hardest Things About Having Anxiety and Panic Attacks, is that the People Around You Simply Do NOT Understand How You Feel.
You tell them how terrifying a panic attack is and they think you are just exaggerating. You explain the anxious thoughts you have and they remark, “Hey I get stressed too”. You tell them that you wake each morning with a sense of dread, and they say “Oh come on, who is a morning person?”.
They simply don’t get it.
The weekend is coming up and your partner wonders why you can’t just go out for dinner with friends and leave your fears behind? What they don’t get is that sometimes you think you will actually die the fear is so intense and that your mind is in such a fog that you won’t be able to enjoy yourself for a minute.
You wish they could understand this – and when they don’t you feel alone and depressed.
I’ve got two things to say about this:
1. YOU ARE OKAY
Yes you have a problem that needs correcting. You wouldn’t be reading this right now if you didn’t. That’s why you surf the net looking for answers. That’s why you constantly worry if this problem is more serious than just anxiety. You worry about the scary bodily sensations and if you will always be like this. You get a jolt of fear at the thought of losing control in front of your friends or co-workers.
I know all this because I have been there. I have had the exact same thoughts and fears as you have had.
And you know what? It’s OK.
It’s OK because all of this is curable. All of the anxiety can be healed and no, you are not going to lose control or go insane and NO a panic attack is not going to kill you. It’s all OK because you are perfectly safe….
2. FORGIVE THEM
Forgive those that belittle your anxiety. They have no idea how terrifying it can feel. Forgive the doctor that dismissed your story and told you to just go home and try deep breathing. Forgive the friend who stopped calling because you no longer could go out. Forgive the boss who placed all that extra stress unnecessarily on you. Forgive them all because they just don’t know how difficult it is without having experienced it for themselves.
3. GIVE THANKS
Stop for a moment and tell your anxiety you are actually happy it is part of your life. That might be the last thing from your mind right now but anxiety will become your ally, not your enemy. Believe it or not, this problem will teach you how to be a BIGGER PERSON!
Anxiety will give you the greatest gift possible, greater self awareness. It may not feel like that now because you are in the eye of the storm but you will come through this and out the other side stronger.
You will WIN in the end.
It reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with someone who had completed the Panic Away program. She said after so many years of anxiety and panic attacks she could finally see the hidden lesson and gift of anxiety. She now had a rock solid sense of confidence that had not been there before. She felt her old self again. She won in the end and you will too.
Let me show you how to win…
Sign up below to my free 7 part mini-series on ‘How to End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety’. One lesson gets emailed each day.
There is no fee and no catch – just real life changing information all these people have used to end their anxiety. You can unsubscribe easily in one click if you want, so give it a go and see how much better you will feel in just 7 days.
To Your Success….
Barry Joe McDonagh
Author of www.PanicAway.com
Desaree
I want to sincerely thank you for not only checking up and emailing fee advice, but for defining anxiety like no other program. I have been anxiety free, but to be honest, sometimes I get scared reading advice because I don’t want to remember how it was to have it. But you make it easy to read it and understand that it’s nothing that can’t be fixed and cured. It’s now a reminder that everything is and will be okay. So I thank you for being so understanding and publishing your advice.
alison
just like to say a big thank you…. the second i finished reading your book i have not had another panic attack ever!!!!!!!!!! ive had the build ups but accepted them and encourage them and then they just go away. so i thank you again and encourage any body that suffers to give this a read i have passed my book on and it has helped 3 of my friends…. life changing ………..
linda
hi barry
I really have to thank you for your panic away program. I had only recently started having panic attacks (inc hospitalisation for chest pains) when i subscribed to your plan and i cant tell you how much it helped. The attacks, which were seriously starting to concern me and affect my daily activities, pretty much stopped once i put your steps into action. I couldn’t believe how simple it was. I still feel the anxiety creep up on me at times but now i have the power to send it packing and its a great feeling!! So thanks again for your help and not letting this tiny part of myself take control of my life. I wish everyone else suffering from the same anxiety the peace they deserve.
Guy
thanks for that wonderful email. I really appreciate the words and wisdom you expressed. And please don’t worry about the name – David is actually my father and he ordered the book for me which I loved. So my name is actually Guy! 🙂 I have suffered from panic attacks since I was 9 years old and genuinely appreciate the honesty and respect you give to people who suffer from such things. The timing of that email was astounding and I look forward to reading it several times over.
All the best with the next season of your endeavours and bless you heaps,
Guy
julian
i would like to thank you for the panic away program , it made a huge difference to me , i cant say the panics went away but what i read made a huge difference to me , the problems i had now become rational and by have that understanding made dealing with it so much easier .
a great program and a fantastic was to rationalise what was happening . i went from shutting myself away to being able to just get on with things .
for that it is impossible to say thank you enough , i wasnt mad but just someone dealing with lifes problems and now getting on with things and able to eal with them .
a thousand thank yous for brilliant work
julian
sini
Thank you Barry for your help and guidence and the assurance that i will be healed of my anxieties.
Martha
Thank you very-very much for your newsletter! I am in dept to you for your help, you book has helped me enormously, my panic attacks stopped a year ago after practicing your methods! These days, due to personal problems they are back…. I am determined to not let them ruin my life again. Thank so much for your useful advice and help. I wish you all your heart desires! Martha
Ruth C
Hi Barry,
I read and try the one move from panic away. I’ve try it and gotten a bit better, but I’m not there yet. I’ll keep trying because it makes sense and I hope to get rid of anxiety and panic attack forever.
Thank you,
Ruth
Anne-Marie Reid
Barry, you are a rock that is there for us all! Your advice is priceless – it is unavailable anywhere else from those who should be helping us and getting paid to do so!!!!
lots of love
AM
Carol Quattrone
Thank you so much for all your advice over the past few years, I have used your advise and they have been succesful. Right now, around the holidays I feel a little anxious but I know I will come through it.Thank you so much.I used to be so terrified of my anxiety, but now I say bring it on I am not afraid. I also talk to people who are going through the same thing, their is no better person to talk to then a person who has been their.I do take Zoloft and it takes the edge off, but your advise was the best. Thank you so much.
Carol Quattrone
Thank you do much for all your advise.
Lynne
Con…a “cure”? imho, the first thing you have to do is stop seeing yourself as a victim and know that the “cure” is inside you. it’s all in the way you THINK. when you realize you are not feeling good, stop and notice what you are thinking about. practice changing your thoughts and your feelings will change. over time – and be patient, it’s a process – all will change for you. you can’t look for it in the external world. it’s not “out there”. you are worthy. you are loved. best to you.
Shari
Thank-You, Barry ! You gave me my Life Back. For that I will be Forever Greatful. To many years spent in agony and now I can enjoy My Family and My Life again . So many people out there are suffering needlessly, so whenever I can, I tell them about Panic Away ! I can’t Thank-You enough…God Bless ! My Family Thanks you too ! =)
John Grace
Thank you for your extraordinarily insightful words, Mr Barry. In fact, they could not have come at a better time for me. While I can live with the name of “Jodi” of course (These things happen.), I have recently been doing some sums, and so considering ie. worrying about, what might happen in my future. I now realise that I had been allowing my worries to consume my unfortunately somewhat limited brain function (I experienced a serious medical event in early 2009.) and this has not been helping. For my peace of mind, it is important for me to know that I am at least doing something positive, in fact several things, one of which might one day lead to a solution to my problems. Now that you have helped me to get my thinking straight, this task is so much easier.
In respect of THEY SIMPLY DON’T GET IT!, how very right you are. I have long been endeavouring to deal with the frustration that has resulted, so very often, ever since Friday the 13th of February, 2009. So much so, I have coined a term for the condition of so much ignorance that exists in society, and that term is having the condition of Yogi-Bearitis. This is because so many people who I have come into contact with, and tried to explain how difficult my life is these days, think they are experts and so they “know” all about the difficulties that I have to deal with and, because these people are such experts (Yeah! Right!) they think I must be exaggerating and things can’t really be all that bad. In other words, many people who I have come into contact with have been severely afflicted by the condition to which I refer and so, sadly, they have been smarter than the average bear! ie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6nW6WxEev4
Like many other things these days Mr Barry, I don’t know how I ended up on your mailing list, but I am so very glad I did. Please keep the wisdom coming.
Thanks again.
John Grace
I recently sent the following email to a friend who works with people who are having a very difficult time in life. I think, or at least I hope, it says how I feel about your recent email Mr Barry.
“I am Forwarding that email I received a couple of days ago from someone who, in my humble opinion, is a bit of an expert in a field that, in my experience, so many people know so little about. Apparently, a long time ago I signed up for something or other and, frankly, I had forgotten all about it. His article refers to problems that are a bit more heavy duty than mine have been for a very long time now, since my own event. However, the principles that he refers to are absolutely appropriate.
While this man’s interest is about things that can generally lead to people having worrying thoughts, from my point of view his excellent article could be specifically in respect of a mindset that is necessary to combat the challenges that are caused by brain injury. In any event, perhaps there may come a time when you need to help someone who is experiencing a difficult situation, whatever the reason may be. Should this be the case, it is unlikely that you could do anything more positive than letting them read over the article and show it to those who are close to them, and then perhaps referring them to this man’s web site. I hope the article might be of help for someone else.”
HappyD
Hey thank you for your program! I laughed at the thought of being “cured” because I never thought that could happen. 4 years ago I read your methods twice and have never looked back! Truly remarkable, thank you thank you thank you!
Ishmail
Greetings Barry,
I am an Attorney of considerable reputation and I live in Malawi – Africa. I had gone through a tough time whilst in univeristy as I had lost my mother whom I loved so much and worse still I was withdrawn. I fought my way and managed to graduate 4 years later. So I said to myself that I will work hard, much hard, and much harder and achieve success above my contemporaries and amazingly I truely achieved my aspirations. Life was all good, so much work – Lots of money, untill one night after I knocked off from work late at night, the most unusual and unanticipated happened to me and what felt like a few minutes towards the end of my life. I felt unprepared for death and had time only to repent and pray so much to God. By God’s Grace, amazingly I survived. 8 months later, it happened again and thereafter more frequently.
I panicked heavy, flew to Johannesburg only to be told that I was suffering from stress. I only come to know of the term panic attack when an American Doctor mentioned the terminology to me. I decided to search on the net and found your website. I immediately asked my freind from UK, Maria Oliver to purchase your book and she did. I read the book twice. I read all your mini series and various tips and applied them.
I must confess I literally failed to challenge the panick attack but instead I had put my trust in God and
prayed for God’s help and had the hope and confidence that the attack will not harm me.
Today, I still feel something in my body that feels like a panick attack that has lost its strenghth. I get
unexplained headaches, tightness of chest muscles and your e-mail did me alot of good. I have faith and I pray to God that one morning I will wake up just as normal as before.
Barry, Thank You So Much.
Ishmail
Jennifer King
Please help me control this. I had a massive panic attack last January and ever since then I fear having a heart attack or stroke I guess it is because they symptoms are exactly the same. I check my pluse all the time everyday it is so annoying. My life used to be great up until a year ago I could go anywhere and do anything. Now I am anxious and stressed al the time!!! When I go somewhere I’m always on the lookout for a hospital just incase. I don’t think having lupus helps the situation any either. Please help me get rid of this fear!
Leeana Hughes
Hi Barry
I have never before bought into anything like you offered on the internet. I have always been too unsure of how genuine the person or information is!! So it was out of sheer desperation that I turned to you for help. I can honestly say I thought I was going insane – only my husband really knew how bad I was as it was affecting our social life. The mere thought of going anywhere that I anticipated to be crowded, therefore hot and with no clear exit would put me in a spin!! Only one of my friends knew about “my moments” as I called them, I was actually too embarrassed to tell other friends as I thought that they would just roll their eyes and think of me as weak!! I have always had a very outgoing bubbly personality, life and soul of the party etc and I knew I wasn’t weak – but then you start doubting yourself too!! On one occasion I was standing in a queue at the post office, I was next in line when the “feeling of dread” rose up my legs and I just knew I was going to faint, so I left the queue (before pretending I had forgotten something, as I was so embarrased because I was next to be served)!! Once in my car I felt safe, so I chose flight instead of fight!!
It then started to happen when I was in work, I couldn’t even drive home one night so had to ring my poor hubby to come and rescue me – but he drove straight to the medical centre!! Of course what could I tell them other than my heart was racing, I felt faint and extremely tired like I had hit a brick wall and then promptly burst into tears (again this was just not the type of person I am so I was wondering what the hell was happening to me)!! They thought I was either having or had a heart attack, then they gave me a pregnancy test, then they told me I was depressed!! Well, I was happy because it was alot better than being told you’re insane and carting me off to a padded cell!!! I refused point blank to being prescribed anti-depressants, but I knew I needed help!! So Barry, that is where you come into my life my friend – I read and re-read your advice about thinking happy memories when “my moment” is coming!! That in actual fact I was never going to faint and that by telling myself that I was stronger than “my moment” I could fight and not take flight!!
I now lead a normal life again, I have my own business and can cope with situations that before sent me running. I must admit every now and then I get the feeling that “here it comes” but I know I am so close to never having it!! “My Moments” are now “My Moment here and now, I am alive because I am breathing and my heart is pumping!!
Thank you Barry
vinita
thanks alot sir,
your ideas helped me alot. As i was on medicines before,but after using your techniques ..i have stoped taking my relaxy medicines even.Once again Thanks alot sir ..i have still negative thinking in my mind but i m trying to get rid of it also…my panic attacks and fear is less but sometimes in a car or while driving i catch the fear..but yaa i am reading and watching your cd’s and i know i will end up with my panic attack.
thanks
Nelly
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS!
Deb
Hi Barry, Thanks for offering this mini series. It’s a great, no fantastic thing you’re doing. When my panic attacks first started (a year after my twin started having them) there wasn’t much information out there. I
find comfort in knowing there are others out there that feel and suffer as I do. (Not that I’d wish this on anyone) But to not feel so alone. I’ve learned some techniques of my own, as I was literally housebound. (Before my attacks started happening, I would drive everywhere and was very independant) Becoming housebound, and me having the only “get out of jail card” was devastating! I can drive somewhat now, and also don’t need to be accompanied by husband..(as my secure/safe person) But there is still places I won’t go and feel “unsafe” and too far away from help. I still want to become secure/safe/relaxed in my own skin.
You’re an amazing person to want to help people. I look forward to your mini series.
Rajiv
Dear Barry
Thank you so much for reaching out to the needed ones so empathitically.
Bless u!
Rosemarie
I can remember anxiety attacks to various degrees, at a very early age. Probably as a consequence of seeing my dad shut in train doors, at the age of 3. My dad was safe and unhurt, but in the eyes of a 3 year old that was my visual experience of seeing the train doors close on my dad and the train departing with my dad still on it. All I felt was sheer terror, I can visualise that experience today with such vivid recall as if it only happened a few seconds ago. Counsellors have said that I probably suffered with some form of post traumatic stress. Explaining that panic attacks can occur later on in life, which may be provoked by a smell, or some similiar stimuli that I experienced at the time when I first experienced the outset of trauma.
I am now 47 and have lived with panic attacks for 37 years or more of my life. Fluctuating to full blown agoraphobia, and being isolated to one room, and at other times being able to do art with other people who have special needs, to working in a shop, and bringing up a family.
My frustration is, my fear is mainly with travelling. In my heart I want to travel but in my mind I have this overwhelming fear, one of dread and anxiety. When I know I have a journey to make which isnt within my comfort zone, I find the anxiety is draining and time consuming.
On the other hand this enemy which has consumed my life has also given me friends, very special friends, and also a compassion for other people, that I dont think I would have had without experiencing panic attacks.
I sometimes wonder whether my panic attacks have been my friend or my foe. Restricting my life in some areas and enhancing my life in others!
Uday Wig
Dude you are soo close to what one is going through, hw is it possible that you know exactly whats happening when even close family is not understanding.+
kel
I been to this site and comment for 2-3 times. I come to say about my problems and distress about this attacks which cause my life to be worrying and scare something bad will happen. Im feeling better now than before. I cant say im fully cured but at least im not so worry and scare of something bad will happen to my family. Those unwanted anxious thoughts has dismiss. I not sure if it will come back to me but i just hope im be back to normal as i have now.
Thanks everyone!
Anna
thank you for offering this advice for free. I am doing well, but had a little panic attack yesterday out of the blue. Not stressed, not worried, just boom it was there. I will follow your instructions and hope it helps me out through this time in my life.
Anna
hajra
i am very happy to read ur mail …that any body in this world can feel what is anxiety
Stan125
It’s simple but thank you. Thank you for your time and forthe newsletters. They help. Slowly but surely
gabriel
Hi Barry,i just want to thank you for offering this advice for free…i am glad that i found you,your a big help to me..im still taking medecine rivotril and remeron for 3 years now..i hope someday my panic attack will gone forever…thanks again barry…
gabriel
Steve
Dear Barry, I have had for the past 3 and a half years an anxiety disorder. SAD social anxiety disorder. I had to drop out of highschool because I could not accomplish anything with this disorder.I remember the day when i had my first panic attack. I didnt know what was happening to me. Two years later I found out I had anxiety. I just recently got the Linden Method and Attacking anxiety and depression with Lucinda Basset. I found that the Linden method works the best for me I have also tried the Attacking anxitey program but lost interest after the 10th week. I have tried many different exercises to help cope with my anxiety and so far the number one exercise is the your own head to heart exercise. I first thought “what a joke this isn’t going to work.” but I was wrong after trying it once i was amazed at the results. it was lessend my anxiety dramaticaly I have also tried rolling along with the feelings but it just doesnt work for me. i want to thankyou for sending me the emails which i have just recenty opened. (ps. i never really check my emails any more) im currently taking a SSRI called sertaline. I decided to take pills because i need to find a job and since im living with my dad now i have to pay rent. i appreciate you being there with the uplifting emails. and will continue to check them more often, with practice makes perfect. I will continue to do the head heart exercise and incorperate it with the linden method. ( even though it tells you not to combine other programs) and I will practice everyday til im completely relieved of this condition. Again thankyou for sharing your techniques with me I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely Steve
Emelita Cruz
Thank you so much Joe for your concern…very grateful for your emails because it helps…hope to receive more…God bless your mission…
Cat Deakin
Thankyou, so much, you changed my life last year, the panic attacks were conquered instantly. i am still struggling with the anxiety and i know its a long road but i am more than confident it will fade away 🙂
Keep projecting yourself out there for those who havent yet found your cure. 🙂
Louise
I am struggeling with panic attacks for more than twelve years.I went to diffrent kind of docters.They all say that it is stress.I’m on medication,but i want to get of the medication.I just want a normal life.Can you please help me.
Milla
I am interested in purchasing your program. Could you pls tell me how to go about doing that? I am from Papua New Guinea.
Faith
thank u ahead! :))
Jessieboy
Yes, I am interest to learn more about the 7 part mini-series on ‘How to End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety’. One lesson gets emailed each day. Again, thank you very much for your great help improve my life everyday from 20 years of pain & confusions.
allen figueroa
I am ganna buy ur program i am convinced !!!
Carole
Thank you for the previous emails that helped as I read them. It is like a jolt through your whole entire body when you experience anxiety or panic. When you are driving seems to be the worst time to have one creep up on you. When you have to pull out of traffic to stop and breath and tell yourself everything is okay. The feeling of doom is incredibly terrible when it strikes. I am interested in the next set of emails received. So true the ones you talk to about it who have experienced it understand, the ones who have never had a panic/anxiety attack just tell you it’s all in your mind and look forward to something else. I am interested to learn more throughout the next 7 part mini-series on “How to end Panic Attacks. Thank you for this information.
Sa Nad
Many many thanks for your emails and posts – they really help me a lot. One of the things I’ve learned to do is BREATHE ! Slowly in and then slowly out. It does help.
Thanks again
Kind Regards
Sa
Hilary
I suffer from daily anxiety from the time I wake up til I go to sleep. Some days they become full blown Panic Attacks and I must resort to taking a Xananx to get through the day. I have suffered this on and off for 12 years. I refuse to go back on an SSRI. I am hoping this will help and am open to trying it!!!!
Hilary
I have daily anxiety and panic from the time I wake til I fall asleep. Some days are so bad that I have to resort to taking a Xanax. I am open to trying thus and hoping it is beneficial to me. I have struggled with this for 12 years and refuse to go back onto an SSRI. Reay looking forward to the information you will provide over the next 7 days!!
Larissa
I have been suffering with anxiety and panic attacks probably all my adult life, not knowing what it was.
Doctors had me on depression medicine for year. I finally said no more. I had a lot of side affects
from the medication (Lexapro). Gained weight, lost hair, could not sleep, had sores ion my nose and more.
Finally, last December, when my anxiety was so severe that I could not take a deep breath 24/7 and it
felt like I was dying. I was full of fear and my Blood Pressure went through the roof.
This lasted for several weeks. Then a relative of mine discovered a Holistic doctor, actually an Acupuncturist
I went to see him crying all the while I was in his office. He told me that he can cure me with Vitamins and
Acupuncture. It would take one year approximately.
the bonus was that I stopped taking blood pressure medication which I was on for the past 10 years.
It has been 8 months and I feel at least 75% better. I only get mini attacks that last a few minutes. But due to my financial issues, I have not been seeing him for the past 2 months. Today I feel fear and have
anxiety on and off all day. My BP is up and down. I am very concerned.
I am hoping that your course will help me to get totally well. Thank you. LD
Keet Neville
I look forward to learning your methods of handling anxiety. Many people seem to have benefitted from them.
Thanks again
Shahieda
As a counsellor in private practise, I feel that I will benefit from this for my clients.
I used to experienced nocturnal panic attacks (not much info about that available) but it was due to my hyper-active thyroid. When I started my thyroid medication, the panic attacks subsided. So please, can I appeal to everybody who has panic attacks, to have a medical check for any underlying medical conditions. This is often overlooked!!!!!!
Josef
Yes, I’m interested to learn the methods of curing anxiety.
millicent essilfie
thanx sooooooo much,that was timely… being having this attacks years now,thanx for helping out… may God Almighty bless u.
jason
I LOVE YOU BARRY. GOD BLESS YOU Man!
Ashley Abercrombie
this program has really helped me, i’m still battling a little bit of anxiety but i’ve deffinately learned how to cope with it.
melanie
Thanku barry:)