Anxiety is Your Guard Dog
My family used to have this great dog called Shadow.
He was a cross between a collie and black Labrador. (See him below)
He used to sit all day long in the front room of our house waiting for anyone to come to the front door. When someone would finally arrive, he would go absolutely bonkers!
Until…we invited the person in.
If we kept the person at the door, (for example the Fed-ex guy), he would bounce off the walls barking loudly with all the hair standing on his back.
No matter how hard you tried to tell him to lie down and stop barking, he would not listen.
His reasoning was:“I am the guard of this house and if my owner does not invite a person in, then that person is unwanted and therefore a threat.”
I sometimes used to keep friends standing at the door for a few minutes and then let them in (if they were brave enough), just to see the change in Shadow’s reaction.
It was the same every time.Once they passed the front door, he would immediately stop barking and sit back down on his seat.
Anxiety is just like a guard dog. It is your protector.
It is your fight or flight response activated by the emotional part of your brain designed to keep you from harm.
It needs you the owner (your rational brain) to reassure it that the unusual bodily sensations, that pay you a visit, are not a real threat and that all is well.
But just saying ‘everything is OK, calm down now’ does not work.
Just like Shadow, it responds much better to your actions. You need to mentally invite the anxiety in.
If you keep the door on anxiety closed, your emotional brain thinks that the threat is real and there is something to be afraid of.
When you invite your anxious sensations in with total acceptance of them, your emotional brain (your guard dog) backs off and calms down.
So don’t keep all your anxious bodily sensations knocking on the door upsetting your guard dog.
Open the door and let them in.
Accept them fully and watch as your guard dog settles back down into a calm state.
Barry
P.S. I have been using an analogy of a guard dog and anxiety. Now I want you to share with me your particular analogy of anxiety. You can do it by commenting on this blog post.
Shadow keeping guard at 17 years of age (81 dog years)
pablo53
What an awesome analogy, definitely gives me a different view of the whole problem, thanks.
Phil
I love the analogy.
Cyndie
I love the analogy!
anne macaualy
Thank you for the guard dog story I will repeat this to my beautiful daughter until she “gets”it..she is 27 and has very bad anxiety she was just about to graduate with a master in business over 3 years ago and hasn’t worked o been to school since taking this anxiety this story is a super way to help..thank you so much…anne macaulay
Maryam
Dear Barry
I suppose it really is the bigest step in throwing out the fear! But specifically how?
I always tell myself it is just a though, however, it is not enough for my body to accept it! Even when I don’t think anout it!
How we should deliver this acceptance to our brain? What does it mean to accept it?
Thanks 🙂
Barry Joe McDonagh
See my reply to Margaret :
You do it by getting comfortable with your anxious discomfot. Never pushing it away or resisting it with fear or frustration.
Margaret Hatherall
Thanks for this, very good analogy.
My dog Boris does the exact same thing, always on the alert and on guard, goes bonkers until people come into the house. Then he’s friendly and calms down. It is very exhausting though, for us and the dog!
Personally though I have problems ‘inviting the anxiety in’. Not sure how you do that exactly….
Barry Joe McDonagh
You do it by getting comfortable with your anxious discomfot. Never pushing it away or resisting it with fear or frustration.
Angie
I love this analogy. I have been doing the non-resistent for a few years now and it works. My ten year old daughter is experiencing anxiety and tells me her stomach hurts and is afraid to go out any where because she may throw up. We’ve been working on her “butterflies” and when I tell her to just tell the butterflies to “go ahead” and “have a party” in her stomach it actually works. She mentally tells the butterflies to have a party, invite more butterflies if they want, and just go for it. It has worked MANY times!!! Trying to fight the butterflies never works but opening the stomach door, letting them fly in and out as much as they want really did the trick.
Maria
Thank you for a great analogy. This story is great and I try to aplly to my life… Sure it is not easy, especially by the panic attack, but I tried the acceptance already and it really works, too.
Vikki
This makes so much sense to me. I will never forget this story, and will try me best to apply it to my next adventure with panic. Thank you for all you do.
m.a denmark
Thank you for this post. Just love your dog. 🙂
Nancy Razo
Dear Barry,
Thank you for this story .
I will share it with my fiancée.
I do not have anxiety but I read
All your articles to try to understand
What my fiancé is going through.
This helps me to help him. I appreciate
You sharing it really helps me to understand.
You are greatly appreciated. Thanks again!
Nancy
Polly BreakFreeFromAnxiety
Such a great story-what a wonderful old dog. And I loved the butterflies story too.
As many of you may know, Dr. Meyers and I have been working with Barry to bring the very latest scientifically proven help for all of you suffering from anxiety.
For forty years, I had more than a little trouble “inviting anxiety in”. Then in 1996, my husband and I discovered that for most of us this is a genetic condition which causes our body to chemically double/triple respond to stress. And, that chemistry uses up and forces out nutrients which makes it nearly impossible for our bodies to get and stay calm. Once we filled my gaps and balanced my body, I was able to “invite the anxiety symptoms in” and now live a very comfortable life as do thousands of his anxiety patients.
Please contact Barry and ask about him to send you the interview he did with us about how together we are changing the lives of people, even those who have suffered for 50 years or more!!
Every minute I have while patients are seeing Dr. Meyers, I take time to answer questions from Panic Away people about the BreakFree Program. After listening to the audio, don’t hesitate to ask anything you need to know. Oh yes, and Panic Away people get a special free gift.
I can’t wait to hear how great you are doing.
Love, Polly
damian rowland
Hi Barry
this is an excellent opportunity to thank you for all your help with my anxiety problem, it sometimes makes me laugh/cry when i read something which is like looking at myself, the first of those was YOU ARE NOT MAD this was exactly how i was feeling, but i now try hard to let the anxiety in and most of the time it works and i have no anxiety for long long periods of time. But every now and then it rears its little head again and says hi. today was one of those days and i was feeling down an then i checked my emails and there you were reminding me to let it in and do its worst. advice which i have followed and now sit calmly responding to you.
the guard dog has now curled up on his cushion and gone to sleep
once again thank you Barry
damian
sis
Thank you for the dog analogy.Your program has helped me,still having some body sensations but not as bad as before .I only had a couple of panic attacks ever but have lots of anxiety.That is not as bad either.Thank you.
Marilyn White
My guard dog would be my alter ego named Malice. She is always by my side and always protects me.
Vivian
Hi Barry,
I am vivian from malaysia.
Thanks for sharing the analogy. I have been reading your newsletters and i find it helpful.
Is there any plan for Panic Away to setup a help center in Asia?
I guess most Panic Attack Patients will be benefited from your help.
Steve
I think also your previous advice of not only accepting the anxious feelings, but also mentally trying to escalate the feeling in order to exhaust it is also part of what most of us need to remember. In other words not just acceptance but a conscious effort to actually increase the sensation to allow it to more quickly run its’ course. My anxious symptom is a severe feeling of not being able to exhale which is very scary because you feel like you are going to suffocate so I try to relax my mind to accept the feeling first and then try to escalate the feeling of anxiety (not the symptom of not being able to breathe) and at the same time breathe slowly, deeply, and rhythmically. This way I am trying to get back to normal using both the mind and body.
mary
Thanks Barry for this and your many other articles. you have been of great help to me and my anxiety and panic attacks have reduced.
Prahlad Lamsal
Hi Barry
U have been extremely helpful and supportive. i never fail to check if u have sent any helpful material, while i check my email. this analogy has given me much relief. thanx alot.
mary
Thanks Barry, you have been of great help to me.
My panic attacks have reduced so much!
Elena
Dear Barry,
Thank you very much for all of your articles you are sharing with me. They all do miracles helping to understand what is going on with me. From you I learn step by step what to do it in critical situations and it works. Your dog is lovely!
Thank you once again, Barry
Elena
Shahrzad
Dear barry
Thanks for your helps,whenever i read on of your emails i feel better 🙂
I have panic attack for several years and i try to accept my anxiety however its hard for
Me but i try sooooo much to do it ,i just want to say thAt WE ARE NOT ALONE ,there
Are a lots of people who are like us.
Monte
Barry,
Thank you for your articles. I especially liked the one about your dog, Shadow. I have been attack free for weeks, not that it hasn’t shown its head. When it does I try to let it in instead of fighting it. It really helps. I have zanax but I haven’t taken any in weeks and honestly feel that I don’t need that crutch any longer. Once again thank you for your articles.
Monte
eagle670
That puts a different light on it!! Thanks for posting
Ann
Thanks for your newsletters and practical tips on dealing with Anxiety. It has been a life long journey dealing with anxiety, my therapist told me about welcoming techniques and I had forgotten about it. Thanks for the reminder, it really does work for me if I remember to use it. It usually takes about 15 min. for the adrenlin in my system to cease before I feel the effects calming down, and sometimes I have to welcome over and over. You are a God sent person for reaching out to all of us with this problem. God Bless.
jim
That may work for general anxiety —But how about social phobia???
let the body react in strange ways—I dont think so, I know its all in the mind, but it happens for 45 years now! much worse and happens easier about 25 years ago
Barry Joe McDonagh
Social anxiety is the same. You train yourself to ok with the anxious discomfort in social situations. Its not easy but it is possible. Once you master that the anxiety dissipates but even if it stays you are OK with it so it does not stop you living you life.
Lisa
Thanks Barry. Great example. My dog does the exact same thing! Now when he barks, I’ll remember your story! Cheers from Canada!
Kelly
I understand the “head knowledge” of the analogy. The hard part is to actually do it. I’ve been dealing with anxiety/constant state of panic for 9 years!!!!!!!!! 9 disgusting years!!! I have tried EVERYTHING, and I do mean everything in 9 long years. Now, I’ve found my way to this site, I don’t know why. Maybe, just maybe someone can really really help me. I’ve successfully knocked down all the spider webs for years, but never actually killed the spider. Can somebody please help my KILL THIS SPIDER!
Barry Joe McDonagh
The approach I teach is not abut getting rid of anxiety or killing your spider, its about learning to get comfortable with your anxious discomfort.
Philip
Thanks Barry
once again, I find great relief from reading your emails, which give me much comfort
Jill
I always find your emails very helpful, useful and a great comfort, especially to know there are others out there who feel the same (almost) as I do.
There’s a certain serendipity in your latest message: I also have a dog called Shadow – a long haired German Shepherd, he’s 8 years old and he acts in exactly the same way as your Shadow when someone comes to the door! When walking him I do find my anxiety lessens and I feel better. The power of dogs cannot be underestimated.
Maria
I think of anxiety as the demon that lives in my house. Sometimes it’s in the basement, sometimes in my bedroom and even in my face, but it’s always there. I tried for so long to kick it out, but this is who I am and the more I try to avoid it or push it away, the worse it becomes. I have learned to embrace and accept my constant companion. As with any companion, some days they drive you crazy or make you frustrated and other days are just fine. I am so grateful for my anxiety and what it teaches me every day. I have also learned empathy and how to reach out to others who struggle with the same issues I have. I have learned that I am strong, that I have the power to change my life for good and be truly happy.
airika
I have been having panic and anxiety for years. It is so bad that I cannot be alone?
I’m in constant fear, I wish I could get over just one hurdle to see the light in all this chaos.
I was on medication for years and it stopped working. I’ve had to quit my job moved in with my folks I have two children.
Im at such a loss I feel pathetic.. I really try to except it but I for some reason I haven’t figured it out..
any suggestions I would love to hear.
Barry Joe McDonagh
Please sign up to the free newsletter on panicaway.com for extra help
Rosita
Love the analogy Barry! You and your program have truly helped. Accepting and inviting the anxiety in really does calm your body. What has helped me tremendously is “Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Thanks Barry!
Robbie
i treat my anxiety like a person in my mind. He wants me to stay closed, nervous and frustrated. so when i feel my symptoms begin i try to tell him to piss off 🙂 its incredible what putting a face to something can do , not always successful but brushing it off like hes just a jerk who lives in your minds helps me 🙂
Ali
Hello. The guard dog is a great analogy. I treat anxiety like one of those childhood friends that you’ve really grown out of but he/she wants to keep hanging around with you anyway. So when I’m going about my day and anxiety drops round for “coffee” I say well okay you can hang out with me but I’m pretty busy today so I hope you don’t mind if I keep working. Then I just try to get on with what I’m doing. Somehow treating anxiety as an entity separates it from me as a person.
Leon
Thank you Barry.
I will try your way of exception.
Carol Quattrone
I had suffered years ago from severe anxiety and Panic Attacks, I have read many books on the subject , but your method of controlling anxiety and Panic was the best, I was in my 30’s when it started , I am 67 now and have used your course for years now , and it is the best, I now let the anxiety in without fear and it disappears, I now know how to handle it and tell others to follow your method, and the story of Shadow hits the nail right on the head. Thank you for all your help!!! Carol Quattrone
PK
A physician once told me that I was a “fighter” to my anxiety. The anxiety was never acknowledged and accepted for years! I had been fighting until recently when someone told me this: “Feel, Accept, and Embrace”. I tried that, and felt that the anxiety was actually magnified many times in the mind in fears.
These days, I become more mindful of the anxieties that come up unannounced. I watch the bodily response and have a conversation with myself about this situation. Then, accept, and embrace it. The anxiety subsided very quickly. During the process, I use breathing techniques to calm down. It has become more tolerable with the mindfulness and breathwork.
I understand how one feels when anxieties strike unannounced; the feelings of fears, helplessness, and even thoughts of embracement and death. All these flash through within seconds.
I hope all those who are experienceing same will learn to be more mindful of what is going on that moment and understand that we actually magnify the situations many times over. Just take a deep breath and come back to the senses. All is well.
Mary
Love the dog analogy. It is very true. I find your advice very helpful. It’s true that not fighting the sensations and thoughts is the way forward. It is possible to feel well and enjoy life again. Keep up the good work Barry.
Anonymous123
This is a great analogy.
My anxiety is so deep-rooted, though, that I barely feel or notice it anymore. I don’t have panic attacks. I compensate by avoiding any and all situations that would bring me any anxiety. This includes interaction with people, any sort of socializing, or any activity outside of my house.
I don’t know what to do. I am so afraid of people that it is debilitating. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I look in the mirror and I see someone completely different than who I used to be. I also see nothing at all.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I’m overcome with a feeling of “who have I become?”
I have become a recluse.
Most of the time when in public, I make sure to avoid contact with any other person. Sometimes I will people watch and I realize that there is this inexorable feeling of loathing and fear towards each and every one of them. I am afraid that everyone is out to get me, and that given the chance, they’ll hurt me.
I understand the reasoning behind the fear that my subconscious has embodied, however I don’t know how to overcome it, because the fear is overwhelming. The anxiety is like another ‘me’ that I can’t control no matter what.
How do I start trusting people again? My whole life I have been surrounded by and have attracted destructive people that have only hurt me in one way or another.
I don’t know what to do.
Matt
Awesome analogy Barry, spot on.
steve
Great analogy barry, but I can’t seem to open the door. My anxiety is driving over certain bridges. I know in my mind nothing will happen, but as I approach these 2 specific bridges (which I had panic attacks on) I back off & get off the exit before and have to travel miles out of my way. I can’t seem to go over these bridges
Barry Joe McDonagh
Start with smaller bridges that induce some anxiety then build up to the big 2. Expect to feel anxious when practicing the techniques
Mark
I don’t think my anxiety, aka guard dog, knows where the front door is.